I had a new thought that needed some more attention, so we turn to the page. When I think about her, and I remember how perfect she is for me. I remember how I have been, and I didn't treat her with the proper respect, and it turned into a dismissive attitude at some point. She never listened that the problems she thinks she's facing are not real problems. I don't see the same problems, but it doesn't make it less real for her. That's my issue. And she is to be treated with respect because she does add so much to my life, and I missed so many opportunities to tell her how perfect she is. She is gorgeous. What's wrong with me? Like for real, are you stupid? What the fuck makes anything of what you said okay? In what world am I allowed to say anything like that to the person who I truly love more than any other person. I have no excuse. There is never a reason to say some things. I was soooooooooo wrong. Man, I can't even begin to apologize or spend the rest of my life making up for that mistake. Little black and white there, but the sentiment fits because I am ashamed of myself for my behavior. She is my beautiful wife who deserves my utmost love and attention. I made promises, and I have no excuse. No matter how I am hurting, that is never okay. I took a dirty low blow to win an argument, and it was wrong. I surrender. I am sorry I ever doubted you. As I told you when we married, forever I will love you to the best of my ability, and I let you down, sweetheart. Please forgive me.

Pleading for forgiveness sounds like what I should do in the movie version. But the book version might have a longer more delicate road to happily ever after. There are surprises and turns that make us jump from the page with bewilderment as to how this could possibly turn out for them now. Wait a minute, this was a fairy tale beginning, what is this author doing throwing a major twist right in the middle of the love story!? Why can't I read the last chapter first to know how it ends? I have faith in the author that this journey is necessary for the characters to grow and develop into the people they need to be in order to be the people who they are in that last chapter. This is a long book, and there are many chapters remaining. These two star-crossed lovers, set across time and distance will find their way back to each other. Especially because they both still love each other, and think the other person is way cooler and more fun to hang with than pretty much every other person. I trust that author of this book feels the same, and I trust life has something bigger and better in store for Us. Good books have the highest highs and can bring the characters through the lowest of lows into the arms of the one they love once again.

Learning how to trust the process is learning, and it's real hard...