Whatever words we use to describe that feeling to doing something we are impelled to do, that thing allows me to be me. That thing feeds my soul. That thing gives me the strength and clarity to move forward with confidence even in the face of the unknown. This feeling of doing is beyond a feeling of being. I agree with the Batman sentiment, "it's what you do that matters." I also find the benefits in being a kind of person. The kind of person I want to be in this world, the kind of man, the husband, father, friend, that is the person who does. The person who is there, shows up, and puts everything on the line for what I believe.

Tangentially, my beliefs may be misplaced and incorrect at times. That's okay. It doesn't count doubt or questioning, and it doesn't cause me to stop. I am confident in my limited information. I am also confident that the person I became is the person with pure heart and intention. I gained an ability to connect and see others as they currently stand. If my belief and action crosses an unknown boundary, I don't have to question myself or rethink what I'm doing. I simply need to take the moment to see the other person, understand them, validate them in who they are, and through this ability to pause, slow down, and connect with the person, I can move forward with more confidence. This is not because I don't care how others are affected. This is because I know my intention was good, although misplaced and wrong in that moment, I get to use that moment to grow with another person and understand them. That is deeper. That is more. It is more than moving forward without regard for others. It may appear the same at the first instance, but it is very different. The moving forward without regard for the effect on others is the same. I am not questioning myself before I say something, send a message, or proceed in a way that may appear cold. But, yes, but, this is not the case. When the other is able to express themselves to me, I can check in and be with them in their experience. I am able to do all the things, and still keep going. The pause propels me forward. That is the "hard way" I've spoken about. It appears hard to be in the emotions, shoes, of another. Knowing that I am confident in who I am allows me to not take so personally whatever attacks may com my way. I know that no defense is necessary because I am unbreakable; I am water; I am the ocean. These waves are not coming at me, they are me. That is just another part of who I am.

There is no need to defend against the waves of others. The ocean does not fear the wave. The ocean understands that it is the wave and accepts itself as it is. There is a steadiness that exists from the core of it's being that allows whatever may come. The waves cannot knock me down. It's only when I separate myself, attempt to stop the waves, build walls to contain the waves, hide the waves, but the force comes through all the more. I cannot contain the ocean with what I am. The ocean does not hold itself back. It does not listen to the man on the shore who is mad at the ocean for being full of waves. I am not angry at life's little inconveniences. The waves, the stops, the "inconvenience", and whatever else we may call these aspects, they are what make life the roller coaster that I love. I love roller coasters. The ups, downs, twists, turns, flips, G's, loop-de-loops, and the sudden stop at the end, the line to get their, the moments prior, and the moments after, the anticipation, the desire to go again, the thrill of it all, all these aspects are what make it worthwhile and fun. I throw myself into situations where patience is key.

Everything I want is on the other side of the work. This book has been that work for me, and my hope for all those who read it. This is the beginning of the work for you, a piece of the work, might be the middle or the end, but this book was the work for me, and I hope for you that it can be a piece of your work. Let's do it the hard way, the slow way. Get there slowly. Going slow is the fastest way to get there. I knew this in concept, but I fought the idea because I want it now! The patience I prayed for wasn't given to me; the emotional connection that I wanted wasn't given to me; the calm mind through the storm wasn't given; nothing is given. I was presented an opportunity where the ground was fertile. I was allowed to do the necessary things to develop for myself. I had to take the opportunity, use it, accept it for the blessing that it is. I wasn't given the thing, I was given the opportunity to take the thing. And I'm taking that thing, today. I was blessed with a fertile ground for patience to be practiced and developed. I was given a string of events that allowed me to learn how to connect on an emotional level with others. I was given a storm, and in that storm, I found the calm. I did not pray for the storm to stop; I expressed my gratitude for being able to stick through the storm. That's some Forest Gump right there. In the middle of the storm, if I keep going, fighting, surviving, I will find that calm presence that can be carried forward. And after that storm, shrimping was easy. It was the storm that made it possible. I should pray for rain, don't pray for sunshine. Many cultures have a practice of praying, dancing, sacrificing, or whatever, but that cultural practice had the same goal, make it rain. The rain was necessary to have the crops (if we're going back to literal uses for the rain), to have the river rise, to have something to drink, the storm makes life possible.

I may get off on why Souther California is not the place. It doesn't rain there. The storm never comes, and life cannot flourish in its fullest form without the rain. Southern California prays for rain, but it never comes. That's probably a bit too conclusory to be a full thought of the analogy and concept, but on the surface, the point comes across. I only want good weather, so I live in the sunshine state with 350 days in the year as sunshine. "Let me minimize the storm in life" is the sentiment I can attribute to this mindset. I say, no. There is no bad weather, only bad clothes. There will be rain, there will snow (latitudinally dependent of course), there will be clouds, the storm will come. This is a good thing. I don't ask for the storm to stop. I don't ask for it to be easier. I ask for better clothes. I ask to be stronger. I rise to the occasion instead of running from it.

This idea keeps running, but I'm moving to the next thought for now.