"Why aren't you on the phone telling her you will do whatever it takes?"

"Leave her alone, give her space, don't call her until she contacts you."

These are two ways of going about this. And it's tough to say which one is the one. The movie version always goes the way that can capture the attention. But in the movie, girl goes away, meets another guy, then when old guy shows up, he is all winning her over and whatnot, but this new guy, there's something about him being such a nice guy, but he ain't got the tongue like the old guy, and she can't stop remembering the way her toes curled as she grabbed the sheets, tensing every muscle in her body, moaning from deep within her soul, as her body quivers through the pleasure.

Whoa whoa, now! This is turning into one of those sexy book versions rather than the movie.

While deciding which school of thought has the better approach and application, determined by results naturally, well predicted results, based on thoughts of situations that have never occured, but loosely related to other experiences that didn't demonstrate the best judgement, and those experiences shading this choice, it's possible the choice could be a blend of the schools. A Bruce Lee blend of emotional styles to create the ultimate supportive, soft, strength emotional style. Emotional Ninja Mode Activated!

Okay, hold on a minute. Ninja mode might not be the right mode for this. Okay, but hear me out. Ninja, as in the ultimate supportive, soft, strength kind of ninja; that ninja mode is the correct mode. Nuances galore. I digress quite often, and it doesn't stop the flow. We lean with it, rock with it, roll with it, and boogey oogey woogey til the sun comes up. There's a vibe going on with ninja mode.

Shifting gears quickly, I also learned about two other schools of thought recently. We could say I learned of one recently, the other was discovered long ago. This is something that struck me because of the opposite approaches. It's also shocking because I am only now learning that using one approach where the other would be appropriate can cause misunderstanding, and more potential negative consequences.

These two schools are on using "I" statements vs. "You" statements. In one school, the older-for-me one, one is encourage to use "you" to speak with others to make the conversation about the other, instead of I, I, I. This is a school of thought that gets prominence in some place, there exists literature on the topic if you're interested, but it's the next school that I found more intriguing.

This school says, "you" statements are degrading, use "I" statements instead. Instead of approaching a conversation with the someone about "you do this..." "you never..." "you are not getting it" "you etc."

This school teaches us that a "you" statement does not work with criticism and negativity. These make someone feel degraded and less than. These statements can have lasting effect that damage and bring a person down. This is a form of emotional abuse when taken to the extreme. I wonder if it can accidentally become that and what's the cure.

these two schools of thought apparently conflict. But we can't be so black and white. The world is both black and white. We live in the blended universe in between the extremes. Learning all the schools and the adaptability to use the schools can allow that ninja level action.

I can prove it to you.