This is a first, and somehow there are twinges of the past in each piece. Echoes, perhaps, if I may borrow a phrase. I don't have a full understanding of the issues at hand either, so that hampers abilities to see the whole picture. Nonetheless, I have decided I will remain strong throughout the process. Because although this is tough, I will be okay. Starting from a position of safety, I can begin to discuss what was learned, perhaps we'll mention the hard parts too.

I find myself perplexed by certain events of late. Most recent in fact was the removal of me from a chat group of people I considered family. Maybe objectively this occurred prior to more recent events, but I learned of the exclusion later. Had I checked my phone more closely, I could have seen this coming. We let that go. It's a bit hurtful if I want to think about it or take it personally, but it never really started there. It was shock and disbelief. It was the cementing of other words that I did not previously believe to be permanent. Now I had proof.

Okay, okay. That's how it plays out sometimes. Taking certain steps that we can't recover from feels devastating. The team is crumbling! and that just sucks. The feeling is something close to doing everything to save something that we don't realize is already gone.

Let's go back for a moment. The moment it all started (arguably it was set in motion long before, but we'll leave that to the clerics)...

I walked into the restaurant, a familiar restaurant, the place you've been going for years on the daily, maybe 1,000+ visits to this restaurant. But on this day, someone new was working. I had seen her before. She wasn't entirely new. This time though, this time was different. I saw her differently. Her beauty captured me in a way that I don't recall before. She was wild and free as she danced to the music over the speakers in the restaurant. The dining room wasn't occupied by hardly 10 guests. They were all served or taken care of by other staff. This girl was dancing. Her hair swaying as her hips moved her body moved and the arms kept with the rhythm, and there was even a shake going on with the hips that made her cute butt shake. I was captivated by this girl, and I had to get to know her. She's cool cause she's dancing at work; she's brave and bold and doesn't have a care in the world; she's just dancing; she's sexy and she knows, her hips did not lie. I made the choice to get to know this girl.

I said, "hello, my name is .... What's your name?" I sensed her bubbly energy when she responded with a smile. It was a beautiful name. I had to know more about this young girl. I knew she was young, and I wouldn't find out until later her age. I knew that she was bold enough to dance in public, but I didn't know much else. It's the other stuff that really matters; good looks and dancing are critical components, but they do not carry the day. I asked her about herself. Asked if she went to school. She told me she was studying management at university. I became even more intrigued when I learned this young lady is highly educated and smart. There she goes checking more boxes.

I knew I had to see this girl again, and luckily, I know where she works. I also had the advantage that all the employees there knew who I was. They all thought I'm a good guy, and I sure try to be. I know I fall short sometimes and can become overly critical and not very sensitive. I try to keep that side of me in check. It seems I may have lost that battle in the end, but we're still discussing the beginning.

I went back to see her the next day, and the next. I wanted to see this girl outside of work. I wanted to talk to her more. I wanted to hear what she thought about the ideas. I wanted to kiss her! Because dang is she pretty, or what... The kisses would have to wait, she's at work. I need to get her contact information. A friend of mine, who has since passed, suggested once that I ask for a girl's IG instead of her phone number. They are much more likely to give it out. I used his advice this time. It was on the Sunday, the third day I say her, that I asked for her IG. I had no idea what she would think about the question. I thought I was just swinging for the fences. I thought it was a good idea at the time, so I went for it. Boy am I sure glad I went for it. She gave me her IG! I had succeeded in getting access to message her, and to some nice photos (#winning). Like any normal person, I stalked her IG for that evening, bragged to my friends that I met a beautiful girl, showed off her pictures, and was oh so afraid of texting too soon and messing up my chances.

One friend told me to just go for it, and my mind was telling me to wait. I split the difference in the end. I din't wait a whole day, and I texted the next morning. I sent something stupid and generic like, Hi, how are you. But she didn't seem to care how dumb I sounded, she responded. That was the beginning of us. I enjoy talking to this person more than any other person. She does so much to lift me up, and I wonder if I've been doing the same. I've been more full of criticism these days, but I remember the beginning, and we're talking about the beginning. I love this girl so much, and it started on the first date.

The first date was like any other, lunch at a cafe in the city. I arrived a little early to secure a table and was reading a book to look intelligent when she showed up. It definitely started some conversation, and the conversation never ended from that day. It was 6.5 hours long, the first date. We left the first location after 4.5hrs, and I didn't want to leave this girl's side. She had me.

I had to leave that day, no matter how much I wanted to stay. We had three dates until we saw each other's places. It went so fast. I loved it. I found my person. I did it! After all those years of searching and when I had all but settled on the fact of being alone, I met her. She saw me. She pulled me from whatever I was thinking, and I redirected my life toward this girl.

That's the story of how we met.

I'm not arguing with today. Do not curse the weather, it won't make the rain stop.