I'm feeling threatened, threatened, threatened by things (or was it the stuff?). The inflections in the voice make these words much more interesting. As read by the author, but not today. Sorry folks, that'd be all you receive from this writing. If only there was a way to incorporate the read-by-the-author effects into mere words. I suppose I could take the time to describe the voice being used, but ain't nobody got time for that. Let's move on.

What do you do when the threats come over? What do you do when the threats present themselves? Interesting question, sir. Please, explain.

Threats come at us from every direction. When we're in line at a department store and the guy in front of us is being an asshole to the store clerk, we may anticipate a threat coming on. I do wonder if this kind lady behind the counter will transfer her threatening posture toward me when the asshole has left the building. There is choice in this moment (choice, again...). We could be brusque and attempt to avoid the gaze of the woman we now see. We could take many actions at this point that may fall into this fighting and flighting. I choose a different route. I make every effort to approach the situation with kindness and compassion for her. It might be 3 minutes until the store closes, and she just wants to go home after a long day of dealing with assholes. Like the proctologist, after a long day of dealing with assholes, it's time to go home and rest.

This actually happened recently (not the proctologist... but colon health is important nonetheless). I presented with kindness, compassion, and empathy. It worked! The lady spent a brief moment venting about her interaction with the guy before me. It was so brief that it could have gone unnoticed, but I noticed. I was happy to help her recover from the recent experience. Perhaps she won't dwell on that guy. Perhaps, since I was her last customer, she will dwell on our interaction, go home a little happier, and smile a little more. I hope so. She was probably feeling the sense of threat with that guy, and I hope my actions lessened that feeling.

We can be threatened and seek safety, we can be driven and seek achievement, and we can be cared for. We're tackling the first two today. We'll save the third for another day (tomorrow?).

We seek safety with the fight, flight, freeze, facade, f-words (probably fall in the fight category, but fuck it). Fight seems obvious, but it has plenty of nuance. Same for the others, except facade, which is kind of weird. Fight is fighting. Challenging the situation in an attempt to change it. Too bad we can't just shoot things and make them go away. This was possible in the past, but it's frowned upon today. Cell phones make it more difficult to just kill people. **Disclaimer, I don't advocate killing people, don't do it illegally, the consequences suck. The fight could be the words we use more than the actions we take. The fight could be the actions more than the words. The fight might not even look like a fight. It could be silent plotting to get that revenge that is cooling to the right temperature. It could be individuals or groups, and it could even be used as a justification or motivation to fight other battles in the future. This idea needs work, but we're charging forward.

Flight, simple. Aww shit, this one is even more complicated when we get to thinking. We typically think of running away. Shying from confrontation to maintain safety. Running away from the moment. Alcohol and drugs are perfectly suited for such behavior. Shut the mind off and don't think about it. Totally healthy, right? It can be good to run away from situations. Like all other things in life, there is a time and place for every reaction. We cannot say with absolutism that any one response is more appropriate than the other in every situation. We get to choose, we must choose, and we gotta think about that shit. Fuck! I thought you said this would be easy. Remember where you're reading this. The name says it all, this shit's hard.

Freeze, that's doing nothing. Being stuck in the same position. Whether this is caused by fear or some other motivation, it is essentially doing nothing. We can move on now; this is all we need to say... I wish that were so because I've got other shit to do. Freezing up is a safety response. The mind retreats to a place where it feels safe. The status quo is safe, or at least we're used to it. Devil ya know kinda thing. Retreat was a bad word. Digs in deeper and causes us to stop moving forward. If we stay here, we won't be similarly threatened again. Paralyzed by fear, we stand motionless, waiting for this moment to pass. Shhhh, don't wake him up, be hidden, stay very still, don't call attention. I struggle to think of a situation where this is the appropriate response. You get to do your own thinking here; I can't do the work for you.

Facade, putting up a different face. Camouflage yourself, change to put up a front that looks mean and ugly. But this is only a facade. It's fake, not true to yourself, this ain't who you are. This has consequences beyond the scope of today. But I'll just say, if we live long enough with the facade, we can begin to lose ourselves. Who am I if I change to each situation to achieve this perceived safety? I don't know. I've forgotten who I am, and I am stuck in this mode if I spend enough time here. Once again, moderation. This could be mistaken for some of the other response, and it's very similar; the difference is subtle.

F-words, my favorite 😀 Fuck the fucking bullshit that fucks around and can fuck off if the fuckers fucking come at me with fucking nonsense that is fucked up fuckery only to cause the fucked results and most fucking fuck-tastic of all the fucks that fucking come the fuck around and fuck up my day. Fuck those people, let's fuck them up, let's get the fuck away, let's fuck the world with a fake fucking smile, or just fucking scream the fucking truth of fuck them. This seems appropriate.

Drive that pushes us to achievement. This will be short. The drive we experience stems from something internal as a response to something external. Situations affect, and often dictate, the exact response. This ain't cool, man. But what if we took this drive and tempered it to a moderate extent? Where does it go when it is all-consuming drive? It can result in stress and busyness. Not sure why it is so, but it is certainly so. Speaking in spiraled circles of ups and downs, leaps and bounds, forward falling, backward leaning, and for the first time a way to achieve has been laid bare and before us by the thoughts and desires within us. Got it?

The drive is good. The all-consuming drive has negative consequences. I will not label this good or bad. I will say, however, the lack of drive is bad. This is an essential element to living a fulfilled life. You choose your own adventure and your level of drive. I have mine, you have yours, and we live in harmony. Go forth, into the world, it is but a speck upon which you have been placed. The world will gladly pay any wage you ask of it. In other words, you get what you ask for.

That's all we can muster for today's learning. Curious about how all this works? Don't take my advice. Go figuring the fuck out for yourself. You're the only one who can do so for you. Stop letting others tell you what's right for you. Be true to yourself. To do this, we must first know our true self, what we truly desire, how we would really enjoy spending our lives.

This is Learning Made Hard.