I can say it officially. I have moved on from some of those folks in the past. We won't get into all the details because they don't seem to have much effect today.

It is an acceptance of what is, and an acceptance of what will never be. Stages of grief anyone? How do we move on? The answer is simple. The answer is time.

A month goes by with no contact and nothing to keep that false hope alive. There is no indication that anything will materialize, and we accept the reality of the situation. We move the fuck on. It may seem like a far-off imaginary idea, but when the dust settles, we will know we love and who we want to spend our time with.

The dust has mostly settled, and the false hope has faded. These are not the things we cling to. Clinging to an imaginary future can be harmful to the presence we so need in our daily lives. It is difficult, and I won't lie about that. I won't even attempt to convince of anything but. We make new friends, and we bring new people into our lives. It turns out that all we needed was here all along. We can't go searching the world to find ourselves, we move about the world creating ourselves. We build on the past and create the future.

The future is not set in stone, and the auto-pilot nature of most is not the path to happiness. It may be just a blissful ignorance. We would say, however, that we set a plan, and we do what it takes to get where we want to go. This may be the route to true happiness in life. We choose our pain. It can be the pain we choose, or it can be the pain others choose. The imposition of others' ideals onto our own lives can lead to disappointment.

I won't speak in absolutes here, and I won't claim this is the end all be all. This is just one man's observations about the world. If your world proves it to be different, then fucking run with that. It is probably better than the alternative.

As an example of picking our pain, I will provide a physical activity showcase. The choice to go to the gym (gym not necessary, but just go with me) is a choice of pain. When I do ab workouts and the burn begins, I have chosen that pain because results are on the other side of pain. We can go harder and dig deeper, leaning into the pain we have chosen. Be unapologetic about the life you choose. Fuck those who would have you do less, those that would bring you down, and those who don't want you to succeed because it reflects negatively on them.

It is not too sporadic to see a pattern emerge in my own life. Self-hatred and disgust of self are incredibly powerful detractors from our lives. We live in our own heads, full of doubt. The doubt persists if we let it. We have the ability to let it go, and the ringing in your ears is not a sign, that's tinnitus.

We would have to ignore the ringing to keep about our business. The noise in the background tries to throw us from where we want to be. We can become distracted and tossed about these choppy seas. A 50-foot wave is coming, how will you handle that. If you've got a good head on your shoulders, you can find a way.

I will also point out that starting early on this path through proper guidance and proper mentorship is a wonderful way to start. If we do it in the beginning, we will not have to do it in the end. We can make the choice to do it now, or we can make the choice to live our lives as if we will die soon and nothing matters. This will fuck us when we actually do survive and become self-aware.

It is a thing. Yep, things. There's some stuff sprinkled along the way also. You got that? Things and stuff. Simple, right? Sure, it might sound simple, but the reality is anything but. Those around us who push us to be better are the people we should keep. Make friends with people who want the best for you. Do not allow others to interfere with the plan. Those people are scared of you becoming the mirror for everything they could have been or have yet to be but have no plans on becoming. It would show them how they have slacked their lives. This can have one of several effects, but we will focus on just two.

They will get better and improve themselves. I would posit this depends on age, acceptance, and self-awareness. Fortitude in the eyes of ourselves. This comes from within. It shows them how they actually can do.

Or, they will leave. Let them leave. I heard a good one that has stuck with me for years. I believe it was meant as a joke with a basis in reality and a lesson to live by. If you loan a person $20 and they disappear to never return, it was worth it. If you didn't catch on quickly to the lesson here, allow me to shine some light on the eternal insight. It only cost you $20 to get that person out of your life. That is not the kind of person you want in your life. It is definitely not the person you should keep in your life. I would gladly pay certain people to leave my life. Although, by making a conscious decision, we can accomplish this for free.

It may cause fear and anxiety to let people go. The fear is that no one else will arrive to replace them. This thought is not limited to the negative influences. It equally applies to those who leave our lives that we wish would stay.

Wishing that some would stick around is natural. This is a kind of love. It may not be romantic love, but it is a love of the other person and their being. Those who bring good into our lives can be replaced. The memories made, however, cannot be replaced. It is totally fucking crazy to think people cannot be replaced. The more appropriate thought would be that we have to start over. That is the shitty part.

We have to start over building those relationships. We must start over with the time investment. That sucks, for sure. Damn it! Now, I've got to find another person and put equal, or more, effort into growing the bond between you and another. The previous time may seem wasted, but it was only a lesson and q guidepost leading you to the next thing. I won't promise it's a better thing. But it might be better. It is definitely the place you are, and that place is perfectly positioned along the path to promote progress. Alliteration is fun.

These lessons are learned over time. Do not be sad or upset about the pain. Choose your own pain and be present in this moment. The act of doing this takes time.

Time heals almost all wounds. Give the time some time.

This is Learning Made Hard.