We used a lot of time to discuss some relational aspects of living and learning. Now, it's time to look at another area of life where heartache and distress flow through. This is one of the largest areas that leads to erosion of self-confidence. What are the effects of not doing?

Sadly, this is an area where I have experience. I'm lazy at times. I let things get pushed to tomorrow that could be done today. This is problematic because I assume there is nothing going on tomorrow, and I can put the work off until tomorrow. This is wrong. I would like to think there is nothing going on tomorrow so I can steal pieces of the day for myself. This behavior has become a detriment to progress.

A better approach is doing the work as it presents itself. Do it now! The mere typing of these words is enough to send my body in to shivers at the thought of what I have left to do today, and yesterday. Doing now let's us feel good as we lie down at night, knowing we have earned the rest that we seek.

Not doing is a sure path to self-disgust. I create debts of action by my words. I agree to do things for others, and I must be a man of my word to accomplish those things I have promised. I have several tasks in front of me that are months old, and I have not completed these activities yet. Fuck the feelings of inadequacy and do the work. Getting started is the hardest part, but the momentum carries us forward through the list. Similar to siphoning gasoline, the start of the siphon requires the greatest work, but once the flow begins, the gasoline pulls itself out using pressure, action begets action, and the tasks complete themselves as we spend the time in the chair, doing.

I earn my confidence the same I earn my sleep. Stop getting creative and just do the work. The simple things are the most powerful. One key after the previous key, keys turning into words, into sentences, into the documents that must be generated to accomplish what we need done.

I can find an answer to the question of why I hate myself so much in the amount of work I have done toward my goals today. As each day passes and progress is not made, I begin to loathe my habits just a bit more and more. The habits are self, we are our habits. These become who I am, they become my fate. It's not what we say, it's what we do that matters. Say less, do more. Listen and Do.

Those two activities are enough to result in success in any field. Why do I have such trouble beginning and finishing tasks? One reason, I don't know what I'm doing. This isn't entirely true, I know a lot of what I'm doing, and I know the concept of what I need to get done, but I don't know the process to get there.

I had an idea for a sunglasses company that sells cheap sunglasses in a 2-pack for $20. The ads would go on the social media platforms to draw customers by clicks. Customers are interested in the cheap, quality sunglasses. Not the stupid cheap dollar sunglasses, but the quality cheap sunglasses. Aircraft-grad plastic. I can see the result I want, but I don't know how to get there. Because I don't know, I get scared to take the time to learn, to show the ignorance that I don't know things I expect myself to know. I'm supposed to know everything and have all the answers. I must develop the strength to stand strong and confident in the state of ignorance. Confidence in ignorance is the first step in the removal of ignorance. I know what I don't know, and I humble myself to ask the questions that would move me forward. Instead, I shy away from the ignorance, and I pretend. This is bad.

This may not be morally or ethically bad, but it is bad in the sense that it does not accomplish goals. This ain't the hills having eyes, there is nowhere to hide from yourself. This is internal struggle. This is struggle that has a simple fix. The simple fix is doing the work, taking the time to commit to helping others. This is bad because the lethargy spurs loathing of self. If I loathe myself, I hide even further. Spiraling down into a depression that says I can't do different because of past behaviors that have become habits and become my destiny. Lao Tzu's got a good one on this: "Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny." This thought was restated by Gandhi, Samuel Smiles, and others.

That quote gives me goosebumps. It mostly likely has this effect because I am scared that my character is sitting as the thing I hate the most. I become that which I hate. And this ain't where we wanna be, nor is it a healthy place for my mind to hang out. Thinking turns into words, and so on. The thoughts stemming from this pattern are negative and the words become negative, and so on. The spiral continues.

This spiral works in the opposite direction as well. As my thoughts become more and more positive, my words are more positive, and so on. We get to the end of the cycle uplifted, and this pattern repeats, and the spiral continues, in the upward direction. Success begets success. Work begets thoughts of accomplishment and feelings of pride. This is that good kind of pride, being proud of oneself to carry the head high. Hold it high and move forward with confidence because we can handle whatever is thrown at me. I have the mindful awareness, and the mindfulness of masculinity.

Albert Camus would have us believe "the truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to cultivating habits." Stephen King even points us in the right direction when he says, "A man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them." To address the plea for mindfulness, Eckhart Tolle give us this gem, "the moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist."

That ego is what prevents the triumph over ignorance. Ego keeps us stuck in that patter of thought, due to the conditioned mind. We can keep this going with quotes only. It's funny to have these thoughts independently, and when I go to find what other people say on the topic, my thoughts are affirmed as being the consistent pattern of the learned folks thinking on the topic long before me. There must be something to this since we all arrive at very similar answers and would likely all agree on the subject.

"The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." (Samuel Johnson). "You can't make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence." (Julien Smith). This is important because "we become what we repeatedly do." (Sean Covey). To fix the bad habits, we must keep forefront that "a nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit." (Erasmus). And as a final thought, we can summarize with "How to win at life: 1. Work hard; 2. Complain less; 3. listen more; 4. try, learn, grow; 5. don't let people tell you it can't be done; 6. make no excuses." (Germany Kent).

Win by doing. Figuring this out is Learning Made Hard.