Carrying on by himself for months in a new location in the same routine became a bit mundane, or so Allen began to think. He didn’t have any nearby friends that he could call to go have a drink with. He was going to dinners, lunches, and brunches by himself. The town had a lovely old town that Allen liked to frequent. He could park his car at one end and get a kilometer or two in his walk. This regular excursion became a favorite part of his routine.

Old town was set up as a strip of shops and restaurants, mainly along one street that runs north to south. Each block presents a new array of hand-made souvenirs, ice cream shops, locally-sourced restaurants, and more. He had been coming for several weeks just sampling each place. He was looking for a favorite spot to become a regular at. One café had a line out the door almost every day, so he never visited that one. As Allen walked along the sidewalk, he danced to the music playing from the speakers hung on the streetlights. On the weekends, live music would drown out the speakers as Allen passed by the several venues along the main strip.

Allen enjoyed going out to listen to the music, but the dancing is what got his heart pumping. Allen went by himself dancing, because no one else was available to go with. Tinder had been a bust long ago, and he deleted the app for peace of mind. He preferred to dance alone rather than hunt for someone. Allen wants to dance with somebody, but it needs to have meaning and passion. Unlike some other people, hooking up was never his goal. There needs to be conversation leading up to the dancing that excites the mind and the body connection solidifies the tension that started through the conversation. He hadn’t encountered such a conversation since that lady he met dancing in a hotel lobby. Although, that was years before, in another life, Allen remembered those times fondly.

Allen eventually found a yoga studio in the old town. A friend of his told him to check out yoga studios to meet people. Especially to meet women, or so the advice went. Allen was more interested in meeting kind people that recognized the importance of taking care of themselves. He was going through a period of what he was calling a midlife crisis. Others would tell him he’s too young for a midlife crisis, and Allen would give one of two responses to the too young comments. He would either say, “So, when is midlife?”, or “I suppose it’s just a regular existential crisis in that case.” He started leaning more toward a version of the second when he recognized the underlying defensiveness of questioning the other person.

The yoga studio was called YogaWay. It was located at the beginning of the old town main strip, on the north side. Next door, Allen noticed an Italian restaurant that serves brunch on Sundays. That became his small Sunday tradition. He would arrive a few minutes before the 9:15am class to spend time with the other students before class. The first Sunday was where he learned the basics of the studio. He arrived in flip flops, shorts, and a t-shirt. He brought his mat. He was ready, so he thought. He was told he could fill up his water bottle with the filtered cold water. Allen wasn’t sure what to do with that information because he didn’t have a water bottle, and when the person telling him noticed, they said he could borrow a cup. Wondering if he was the weird one not drinking water, he considered buying a water bottle for yoga.

The Sunday class was an hour and a half, and Ansley, the bubbly and enthusiastic teacher, doesn’t like to turn on the fans or open the windows. She says it gives the students something to look forward to when she offers the cool breeze as a kind of reward around an hour into the class. After his first class with Ansley, Allen wised up and brought an extra shirt so he could change after class. Allen questioned why he sweat so much during this class, but in the end, he decided not to give it too much thought as he enjoyed the challenge.

On Mondays, Allen attends the recovery class. He is delighted that he gets to stretch and recover using several techniques led by Ansley. The feeling was close to a massage, Allen remarked after his first class. The props were used to work different tight muscles and for fascia release. Allen hadn’t been to any recovery class before he attended this one for the first time. He considered these types of classes briefly and momentarily thought them not challenging enough. At least, the thought and question went through Allen’s mind as he looked at the schedule. Allen reminded himself of the beginner’s mind and his willingness to experience new things and meet new people. He found himself trying all sorts of new things.

After class on Tuesdays, the students, and Ansley, all got together for Tuesday Tea. Although, for Allen and most of the other students, it became Tuesday Coffee. Allen liked to grab a pastry and a cappuccino from the bakery. He found a delicious blueberry scone that is just to his liking. He enjoys the fresh warm scone with his coffee. As it goes sometimes with large groups, Allen is usually done eating the scone before everyone has even placed their order, except that one time when he was at the back of the line. He made a mental note to never do that again.

Allen enjoyed Tuesday Tea so much because of the connection he felt with the other people. He listened and got interested in the lives of others. Allen didn’t know how other people lived. He wasn’t sure what it was like for others in their day-to-day. This got him curious and out of his own head. He found the other students and their stories extremely fascinating. He even got an avocado and a tiger lemon in a gift bag. Allen wasn’t sure what to do with the avocado, and he thought it would be nice to give it to someone rather than throw it away. One of the students has a farm, and they brought these items from the farm. Another student had handmade jewelry that could be purchased. There were nice necklaces and earrings, and Allen agreed with one of the others who said these would make great presents.

One day, Allen was parking his car five minutes before class, and he got a phone call from the studio. He saw the studio name on his caller ID, and his first instinct was that something was wrong. He was surprised to learn they were calling to check if he was coming to class. Something shifted in him because they cared enough to call. Allen soon discovered he was attending class primarily for the community. These people had grown to be friends in just a few short weeks. As Allen built these relationships, he wondered why he hadn’t ventured out before. He tried hard to identify the things holding him back before, and he was never quite able to reach a sufficient answer to that question. After weeks of thinking on the idea, Allen discovered something profound. It was simply his routine and thoughts keeping him stuck. Moving outside of previous patterns, he could replace old habits with new habits. It was awkward at first, and he was certainly feeling all the anxiety about meeting new people and being a beginner at something.

This yoga studio had a different vibe from some other places he’d visited. This is what Allen imagined community felt like. The crowd was mixed, with about half older and half younger than Allen. This blend of ages and backgrounds gave a rich diversity in conversations and interactions. Allen was sure to listen when some of the moms talked about their babies, Jessica about her five-year old son, and Monika about her fourteen-year old daughter. His reasoning was on him having kids one day, and he figured he could benefit from some mom knowledge.

Jessica told the group about her morning spent cleaning up after her son threw up the breakfast burrito he ate. This was a reminder that kids throw up, and it’s something he wants to be especially prepared for. Allen wondered sometimes if he might throw up on his kid when his kid throws up on him. The scene that played out in Allen’s head is a little ridiculous, and it made him laugh while remembering to take everything in stride. Whatever happens, happens, and there’s no benefit in freaking out or getting upset, be cool, man, be cool, and as he did on that day, Allen often repeats this mantra to himself.

It didn’t take long before the myths Allen created in his mind were proven false. He didn’t need to be flexible to go to yoga. Men do yoga too. He didn’t need to be anything other than himself and show up to class. This lifted a lot of the pressure Allen put on himself. Recognizing the only resistance was in his mind, he allowed the anxiety to exist while he moved forward with the plan to make friends.

The rest of the week was filled with a class every day. Allen set a goal to attend two classes per day for the first two weeks. This, he imagined, would be enough for people to get to know him. It would also be enough for him to connect. His schedule allowed for twice-a-day yoga. So he went for it. The results were astonishing and beyond what he actually thought. He was able to meet some other young folks during those weeks. He had brunch on Sunday, tea on Tuesday, and dinner on Friday. The first week, he was alone for brunch and dinner. But on week two, he had brunch and dinner with another person. After the dinner though, Allen was definitely repeating in his head, be cool, man, be cool.

The quick plan allowed just a few minutes for her to get a coffee on the way to the studio. She had a thought of Nathan’s cafe idea because it would be nice if her yoga studio had a cafe connected. Then, she wouldn’t have to plan this additional five-minute trip for iced coffee. This thought couldn’t have lasted more than two seconds in her mind before she was once again focused on her plan.

Hana gathered her things and placed what she needed in her bag before walking out the door. She threw the bag over one shoulder and felt a small hint of pride because she crocheted this bag herself. Each time she used it, however, she thought about the bag she made before this one. That bag was with her through a couple chapters of life before it finally broke. Every day, she would carry that same bag, and it lasted for several years. It even outlasted her previous relationship, but she knew it couldn’t stay forever.

As she left the house, she checked to make sure the windows were latched and the door was locked. This was a regular check, but it wasn’t with criminal activity in mind. Monkeys were the concern. She moved to this island knowing monkeys would be a part of life. Their presence made each day feel a little more exotic and regularly brought a smile to her face. It wasn’t long before Hana learned the monkeys had a dark secret. The time she forgot to secure the house, she returned to find fruit peels on the floor, her cushions overturned, and one earring missing. Somewhere on the island, she imagined, the monkeys were running a black-market shop to fund their banana consumption.

As Hana walked into the coffee shop, she spotted Joelle behind the counter. Joelle had been serving the same iced coffee to Hana every day since Hana moved to this area of the island. It had been almost a year already, and Joelle knew the order without Hana having to say a word. Joelle also knew Hana was usually rushing to teach her yoga class when she stopped by in the afternoon. With a wink and a smile, Joelle made Hana’s order exactly the way she liked it. Before anyone even noticed, Joelle handed her the finished drink. Hana took the coffee from Joelle’s hand and left enough cash on the counter for the coffee and a little extra for Joelle.

Hana sipped the coffee as she left the store, stopping in the middle of the busy sidewalk to savor that first sip and take a second. She absolutely loved the way they made the iced caramel macchiato. She had special instructions about the amount of ice, the number of shots, and the type of milk. Joelle got it right every time. Her favorite coffee shop used to be in California, until she found this one. If Joelle hadn’t been working that afternoon, this would have been a longer stop. Her small act of kindness saved Hana a couple minutes that afternoon.

With an extra three minutes, Hana arrived at the studio with her favorite coffee. She used those three minutes for herself, sitting in quiet contemplation and enjoying each sip. Her students would start to arrive in just a few minutes. This class’s regular students liked to arrive early and enthusiastic. There were usually a couple drop-ins each class too. The studio was located in a busy section of town, and sometimes, classes could fill up from foot traffic alone. Hana’s 15:00 class stayed full, and the drop-ins didn’t know how lucky they were to get a spot that day.

Her other classes were popular also. But this 15:00 class was the one that really took off. When she started teaching this class, it was weekly. She called the class, “Intentional Yoga.” After just two months, the students nearly demanded she offer the class every day. Hana, flattered by their persistence, came to a compromise with the students on teaching Intentional Yoga. She would hold the class three times per week, but not daily and not on Saturdays. Hana didn’t know it at the time, but the scarcity of the class added to its appeal with her students.

After almost four years of yoga teaching, Hana began formulating her theory of yoga. She found the practice enlightening spiritually, mentally, and physically. These were the core aspects of her yoga practice and the foundation of her intention. That’s when the name struck her, Intentional Yoga. Hana thought she invented the phrase. At least, she’d never heard “Intentional Yoga” before she started using it.

She would be the first to admit that creativity is not the word that comes to mind when thinking of the name. Her goal was not creativity, but rather simplicity. She wanted the name to convey a simple message while still being widely applicable. Intentional Yoga focuses on setting an intention and using the practice to bring the mind, body, and spirit into connection with it. Hana sometimes caught herself over-explaining the meaning behind Intentional Yoga to first-time students. Over time, though, she simply invited people to attend the class instead of trying to explain each detail.

Hana closed her eyes and savored the last sip of her coffee, offering a silent gratitude for Joelle, who made the perfect coffee just in time. With a few minutes before class, Hana laid out both of her mats. One was green and the other pink, both the same brand and style, differing only in color. A friend who believed in her gave her the green mat for Christmas when she started teaching. It still held special significance for her, although Hana hadn’t thought about its origin in some time. She wondered briefly why those memories came to her now, then allowed those thoughts to pass as she turned to greet the students setting up for class.

That’s when she noticed Nathan. He was already set up with his mat in the front row. He must have been one of the first to arrive, Hana thought. A smile came naturally when she saw him. Their eyes met, and his gentle demeanor caused something inside her to soften and relax. Hana felt unexpectedly comfortable in his presence, as though she could lower her guard just a little bit. She gave a wave and a smile as she said good afternoon to Nathan.

A different thought flashed through Hana’s mind as she smiled at Nathan. I should probably greet everyone else and not spend the whole time smiling at him. Her smile grew even bigger. She kindly agreed with herself that she should greet the others. She remained grateful and glad for spending those few extra moments smiling at Nathan.

Hana gave a final welcome to all the students present. She walked over and closed the door to the classroom. As she turned around, something in the room felt different. The feeling was difficult for Hana to describe. When she looked over the students, she no longer saw the individual faces she had greeted. For just a moment, the room felt like a single living thing, greater than any one person, connected and somehow more intimate.

She had seen the trees, but now she felt the forest. Hana made a mental note of this feeling to explore later in her own practice. She walked intentionally to the front of the classroom. The class was full, with a couple new faces, just as usual. Hana stepped to her mat, smiled at the students, and began.

As Nathan walked down the street, motorcycles and scooters zoomed past him. He thought to himself about that motorcycle he was going to buy. He couldn’t quite remember what it was called, only the way he felt while riding it. The brand was unfamiliar to Nathan and probably to most Westerners. The motorcycle, however, was 200cc and looked pretty cool. They had it in three colors when he was looking: blue, green, and red. Nathan thoroughly enjoyed how the bike handled the several types of roads he experienced on the fifteen-minute test ride.

The roads of the island varied drastically from one to the next. A smooth paved road could turn into a bumpy dirt road without warning, and another might wind uphill or downhill, with paved roads becoming less common as he got away from the city. On a motorcycle, he believed, those sounded like fun daily challenges. Nathan decided to remind himself to buy a good helmet. He stopped walking long enough to take his phone from his pocket and make a note about the helmet he wanted. Buy full face helmet with impact rating, may have to shop online, the note read.

Nathan put his phone away and continued walking. He walked by the restaurant where he had dinner the week before. Nathan felt like a classic American meal the day he ate there. So he stopped at this little spot and had a rather delicious cheeseburger. As he walked, he scanned the street and watched people walking in his direction, the opposite direction, or no direction at all. One young woman walked with her child strapped to her chest, right next to another woman walking with three young children by her side. There was the man wearing monk-like robes passing by that random guy in board shorts with no shirt. There were many people moving in between these folks. Each on their own path. This time of day always felt like people had a mission they were in the middle of carrying out. Nathan noticed that the feeling he got from watching these people carry out their missions was quite different from the hustle-and-grind mentality he had once grown accustomed to.

This version of purpose included a sense of connection that had seemed lacking in Nathan’s old hustle-and-grind mentality. The missions he observed on the street appeared to be driven by that connection. Rather than distracting from purpose, lasting relationships seemed to form part of the purpose itself. His imagination toyed with the idea of building a life around a mission that included other people and their wants and needs. It is not a solo mission, he said aloud softly. He wondered briefly and concluded that he didn’t think anyone else heard him talking to himself. Maybe it would start a conversation if they did, he thought to himself with a grin.

Nathan walked on this busy street for a couple minutes more, and then he found that right turn that doesn’t really lead anywhere. At least no one else was walking down here to get anywhere. The road was unimproved. On this road, there were only four rundown buildings to his left and right. Two on each side. From the laundry hanging outside and the belongings visible inside, Nathan could safely assume people lived in these buildings. Although, he hadn’t seen anyone when he passed by. Perhaps he would meet them one day, he thought. He imagined walking by one day and meeting them as they are outside hanging laundry. He considered this way of living and wondered how he could be at peace living so simply. He briefly thought about some of the places he had slept and chuckled while walking by the broken walls of the second building.

Nathan passed the last building on his right side and veered slightly left as the forest began. An observer might think Nathan knew exactly where he was going. This little route was something he found after a few days of exploring. He was able to make his own path through the trees and into the forest. After a minute or so of moving through trees and brush, Nathan found himself popping out into a small oasis. Oasis is the word that came to Nathan’s mind when he arrived there the first time. The oasis was a cleared area about two meters in diameter with branches and bushes scattered about. Plenty of space for one or two people. The ground had been cleared by a fallen tree that offered a surprisingly comfortable place for Nathan to sit. The tree must have been a recent fall because the forest hadn’t really grown back around it yet. For Nathan, this felt like the right place to spend time with himself. He could sit comfortably, with very few bugs (surprising actually), and the only sounds were those of the forest. There were no voices, no vehicles, and no other sounds that might take Nathan’s mind away from his oasis. He could hear the wind rustle through the leaves while birds sang from the nearby trees.

Seated on the fallen tree, surrounded by the lush forest of thick leaves, Nathan pulled his leather bag onto his lap. He considered for a moment how he would spend his oasis hour. From the bag, he pulled out his current book. The plan was as follows. This was Nathan’s developing habit: twenty minutes reading something positive, twenty minutes of guided meditation, twenty minutes of Heart of the Rose.

Nathan wasn’t in as much of a hurry as he used to be. The planned hour wasn’t something he stressed over, and it wasn’t actually so rigid. He was at the oasis for nearly two hours just a few days prior. His leather bag made for a perfect backrest/pillow, and he placed the bag behind him for a little added comfort. He opened the book to where he left off, setting his bookmark on the tree beside him. Nathan read each page with intention and thought. His mind didn’t wander from the page so often that day. The words captured his mind in a peculiar way, and his focus was purely on the message being received. After a few pages, Nathan looked up from the book to let his mind rest and digest these new ideas. These ideas didn’t feel so new to Nathan, not in the sense that they were previously unheard of or unimaginable. They did, however, feel newly connected, relevant, and significant. Nathan was seeing timeless ideas with fresh eyes and renewed vigor. He felt as though he was remembering and drawing forth these ideas already contained deep within him.

As Nathan spent a few minutes thinking through the concepts, a thought flashed in his mind. He caught the thought almost instantly, labeled it as negative, and had an internal debate about how to handle it. It’s not twenty minutes reading if you spend ten minutes daydreaming, was the thought he identified. This thought lacked compassion and didn’t give any credit to the thinking time. Nathan wondered silently, do I just read for ten more minutes, or does this twenty count? That’s when the observer of thoughts truly came to life for Nathan that day. He saw this thought and reminded himself that not every thought requires attachment. He recognized the micro-shaming his thoughts attempted, and he recognized that his attempt to negotiate and meet some standard was keeping the micro-shame alive. Nathan began to wonder if he should even engage with the thought and try to meet some standard that he himself was creating. Thoughts!, Nathan said aloud, in a slightly silly tone. He took a slow, deep breath. It’s not so serious, he reminded himself with a gentle whisper. When Nathan realized he just spent ten minutes thinking about the ten minutes he had spent thinking, laughter overtook any remaining seriousness. With a smile and a laugh, Nathan read a few more pages of the book over the next ten minutes.

What is this life that I want to live? What can this day bring that is more in line with the desired life? Am I already living the dream life where I can wake up and go get coffee, sit for a bit while reading or writing? Then off to have a phone call with a friend. Then to see the person at the local store that has milk. I won’t have to work as much, so I can focus on a project I’m working on. I would slowly build relationships with people through my daily hobbies and activities.

To Nathan, this description feels like a dream. He realized something he found almost troubling, but definitely telling. He wondered, where are the relationships? He thought that might be an issue. This life doesn’t build deep relationships, or it doesn’t appear to. But, the question still escapes him of what that relationship might look like and where it would fit into this life he’s building.

The way thoughts wind around before they enter Nathan’s mind is something he thinks about. He considered if the connection between ideas and the strong correlations seem illogical. Oh man, he says to himself, there I go thinking again. He didn’t have anywhere to be for the rest of the day. He ordered another coffee and was excited to see where these thoughts might take him.

How about this… Shut down the business, move somewhere, start over. Nathan wondered why that would be the first thought to go through his mind. His yoga practice was particularly difficult today, and his thoughts jumped to that topic next.

Oh man this is really hard today! What’s going on? My body takes months or more of practice to get there. It is not a skill but more ability. I can teach you the pose, which is the skill. But to do the pose, it takes time for the body to adjust to the pose and get new muscles, balance, flexibility. It’s the getting there, the journey, the what I learn about my body while I couldn’t do the pose. There are other muscles that need to grow, and tendons and ligaments, and the body literally changes to accommodate the yoga practice. The mind allows for this, but the mind wants it quick. The progress from one day to the next is nearly imperceptible, and from one month to the next, still small, but from one year to the next, there is substantial progress, and it builds on itself to create a flywheel effect.

Nathan had to get his notebook to write some of these thoughts down. His leather bag was on the ground next to the table. He reached over and opened the top flap. He pulled out his notebook and then a pen from the front pocket. He opened to the next blank page and began to jot down these thoughts. He had a quick thought for how perfect the table height was for writing. Nathan took another sip of the coffee and documented his thoughts with purpose. He started with his yoga practice.

As he goes through his yoga practice, he finds difficulty in allowing results to come naturally. Nathan noticed that his mind can become impatient. He knows the results will arrive, and he reminds himself regularly to be patient and just keep going. He has a thought he holds onto that says if he quits then it might be easier, and he could find a more gentle way to exercise. He strongly believes that going through the hard work is entirely worth the result. Nathan allows the thought of the easy road to pass by. That is not an option for him. He learned to love the journey, regardless of the difficulty level.

His mind begins racing about the journey. Loving the journey came when Nathan started to love himself. That’s what made the most sense when Nathan tried to identify how this change happened. Nathan was learning to fall in love with his own presence, and he was better able to choose people who resonated with him. Nathan became more aware of his emotional experience. He was becoming a confident safe space for himself and others as the days went by. He was becoming more empathetic and tried to remain present when others encountered their own pain, without taking it as his job to fix it.

Nathan thought through his own wounds that were present in relationships. The result of all that prior thinking was condensed in this session. Today, he moved away from the torture that was once present and skipped straight to the lesson and the growth. His awareness came in the form of what he needs to remain emotionally grounded.

Nathan already figured out that he needs time alone in nature. To accomplish this, he takes walks. No music. No podcast or book. Just nature. That’s how he arrived at this cafe this afternoon. He threw his bag over his shoulder and started down the road. Just a little while later he found himself seated at this cafe. He almost felt called to come here today. This is one of the ways Nathan is staying connected to himself.

Nathan likes to take the time to really get to know what he needs to be deeply connected to himself. There was a time when he wasn’t aware of his emotional experience, and he didn’t know what he needed to process it. He was disconnected and lost himself. Over time, Nathan became more anxious and fearful. He was closed off to the world and those closest to him. Nathan discovered that disconnection with himself had been the leading cause of disconnection with others. Disconnection feels most real when he’s surrounded by people like he is today. The cafe was full, and Nathan was snapped back into reality when someone asked to use the second chair from his small table outside. He sat alone at this table but didn’t feel the same disconnection he had in mind.

He figured out that he needed to stay connected to his heart and his soul. He became vigilant in setting the boundaries that protect his needs. Upon realizing he was disconnected and what havoc that caused in his life, Nathan felt like he couldn’t trust himself until he knew what he needed to stay emotionally grounded. This motivation was key in his development. The development was to take care of himself first, love himself for it, and then the rest would follow. That was Nathan’s working theory. He set out to test it, and from day one, it didn’t seem to work as well as he’d hoped.

The negative thoughts seemed to return quickly, and he tried to let them pass. At first, he was successful, but the thoughts returned again and again. His coping mechanisms didn’t feel very effective at times. The mantras were working, but they weren’t working. It was extremely difficult for Nathan to make sense of any of this supposed healing and safe presence he was becoming for himself. He noticed if he was beating himself up. He practiced compassion. He caught any name calling and practiced kindness. When Nathan would hear negativity around him, he would notice it differently. He began to catch his own thoughts more quickly to turn them positive. At one point, it took days of reflection and thinking to understand a negativity. There was a profound moment for Nathan when it felt like a switch flipped, and he started to see and replace negative with positive. The moment came when he was humbled, for real.

Nathan took a moment to order another cappuccino just as the first was running low. This was becoming a habit of his to sit and drink coffee while thinking and writing. He reminisced over the days gone by. Nathan finished his first cappuccino and delighted in where he was right now. Moments later, a second coffee is delivered to the table. He tried to bring his mind back to the present, breathing and mindfully mixing the sugar into his coffee.

He had been aware of his tendency to fall off in his head for some time now. His ex started to dislike that about him at one point. Nathan remembers with a chuckle the time spent ruminating on that criticism of himself, and after much introspection, deciding this was his super power instead of something that needed to be fixed. Some people may have to wait or gently nudge him back to the conversation. Although, Nathan doesn’t like to rely on others if he doesn’t have to. He started being more mindful of talking instead of thinking. With the Thumper principle in mind, he recognized that positive self talk and always scanning for good and happy moments trains his mind to see those things more quickly, think of those things more easily, and say those things more often.

Thinking of the good things, Nathan thinks on his journey to get to this table at a cafe on an island across the world. As he counts the different events that had to happen for him to be right here right now, he marvels on how it has been nothing short of lucky and spectacularly filled with moments of hard truths lived and learned. Nathan takes a gratitude moment. Grateful for his past and what he has learned. He breathes through that moment. Four seconds in breath…. …. … … Six seconds out breath… … … … … … … He repeats his favorite mantra at a whisper, trust the universe, everything is working out in my favor, dance naked on the beach.

This trip began as a short reprieve. It has blossomed into a full chapter in Nathan’s life. Nathan has been known to make life decisions in the time it takes to brush his teeth, but this decision didn’t feel like that. Most decisions that look hasty on the outside are actually long considered prior to the action taken. This felt like something he’d been working on for a long time that finally came into focus.

Nathan began writing about the life he was building. Nathan thought about how he wanted to build a life that he can be proud of because he calls it his own. That first thought became bland and too generic for Nathan to accept. His mind thinks on all of these things to find some solution, and he doesn’t want to float around without a goal. That kind of existence is exactly what scares Nathan, and he ignores the thoughts that tell him he’s not making progress. That’s one of the reasons behind why he has chosen to take this time to think and work through his life.

He has been reacting to life and sliding into situations without fully thinking them through. Nathan feels a tear begin to form in his eye. He reminds himself of a mantra he’s been trying out, Not because we are trying to impress anyone, but because we are trying to be happy. Nathan came up with this mantra a little while back when he noticed he was making plans with other people in mind. He wondered what others might think of his decision. He then wondered what would make him happy, not what would make someone else happy. Or really because of any way it might make someone else feel, he thought.

Nathan takes another sip of his coffee and laughs a little out loud. He has such a fun time being his own company while thinking and learning more about himself. He embraced his role as observer of thoughts, and he didn’t take every thought so seriously. Everything was serious and nothing was serious, and he confused himself in the beginning. He found himself struggling to make that balance, but when he noticed the thoughts, he laughed. Laughing and accepting thoughts is a fun way to keep things moving in a positive direction, or at least he tells himself. This laughter, however, was slightly different in origin.

Nathan sometimes likes to put himself in the shoes of another. He applies his new thoughts or theories to past situations, overlaying on the logic of others. He tries to see how the decisions of others make more sense with different understanding. He aims for a higher level of empathy and compassion for others through the understanding he gains. It becomes a real-time application of the thoughts for him. The laughter finds its origin in the realization that someone had made an informed decision where before it seemed inconceivable.

With this laugh, Nathan realizes he’s long been out of coffee. The sun started to get low as he began to notice the time. Most of the crowd left an hour ago. They never did bring his other chair back. Nathan smiled and laughed one more time. This was a laugh of joy. He enjoyed himself today. His own company and the kindness he showed to himself felt like true connection and self care. He said a brief gratitude for the time he spent with himself today. Nathan got up from the table and started the walk back home, whistling as he walked.

This day was complete.

I walked in carrying my gear and looked for a clear place to set it down. I found an open spot directly in front of Nick. I did not know him at the time, although we introduced ourselves shortly afterward.

Nick was packing up his own gear and needed room to lay it out. Because I had placed my things in front of him, he quietly moved his gear to the side.

As soon as I saw him move to the side, I apologized for taking up the space he was using.

“No worries,” Nick said. “There’s plenty of space.”

I apologized more than once because I had not seen what I was doing when I set my things down. My attention was fixed on finding a clean spot. I had not stopped to consider whether someone else was already using it. It was ordinary human inattentiveness, but I still felt embarrassed by it.

Nick remained completely calm.

When I first set down my gear, he had taken the opportunity to introduce himself. I remembered meeting him briefly about five years earlier. He did not remember me, but there was no reason he should have remembered a single handshake from years before.

The kindness in this interaction can be seen at several stages. When I placed my gear in front of him, Nick could have said, “Excuse me, you’re in my way.” That would have been reasonable and polite. He could also have said, “Hey, asshole, that’s my space,” or, “Bro, can’t you see you’re in my way?”

Instead, he introduced himself.

That introduction was an opportunity to notice what I had done. When I still did not notice, he said nothing. He simply adjusted what he was doing. To him, the friction of correcting me may have required more energy than moving his gear a few feet to the side.

There were many possible outcomes to that interaction. This was the one he chose. That choice is worth examining because it happened before any words were spoken. It may have happened consciously, or it may have happened without any deliberate thought at all. Either way, the real work occurred in the mind when the moment was presented.

When Nick looked up and saw me placing my things in front of him, he could have informed me that I was in his way. He was entitled to that. Instead, he found a different and more peaceful solution. He had the discernment not to manufacture an injury where none needed to exist.

Had he corrected me and had I responded defensively, as people sometimes do, the moment could have become unpleasant. A minor inconvenience could have turned into an argument between two strangers. There was no need for that.

There is rarely a need to be rude. There is never a need to be an asshole. Real strength is the ability to hold one’s emotions, accurately measure the situation, and respond with no more force than the moment requires.

Sometimes that means speaking clearly. Sometimes it means setting a firm boundary. Sometimes it means walking away from a situation in which the potential damage outweighs any possible reward.

And sometimes it means moving your gear slightly to the side.

The question shifts from, “Am I entitled to object?” to, “Does this need to become a problem?”

Nick was entitled to the space. But the situation did not need to become a problem. He saw that there was plenty of room, and his response gave me the grace to recover from my embarrassment without feeling ashamed or compelled to keep apologizing. He treated my mistake as normal human inattentiveness.

Inattentiveness is normal. People miss things. They become focused on what they are doing and fail to notice what is happening around them. Those moments do not always require correction. Sometimes they require patience and compassion more than anything else.

We cannot know whether Nick consciously considered his options. Perhaps he did not experience the moment as a choice at all. Perhaps he saw the situation and responded in the only way that made sense to him. There appeared to be no ego involved.

He did not act as though my mistake had diminished him. He did not behave as though something important had been taken from him. His dignity remained intact without requiring me to feel smaller. There was a calm confidence in that.

Some people feel compelled to announce that they have been wronged. They need the other person to understand the mistake, acknowledge the inconvenience, and restore the proper order of things. Nick did not need to win the interaction.

He did not make me smaller so that he could feel properly respected. He did not point out my lack of awareness to elevate his own status. He was secure enough to let a minor inconvenience remain minor. Nick used no more force than the situation required.

That is the discernment I witnessed: knowing when a calm correction is necessary and when nothing at all is required. It is the ability to let the future move forward peacefully while allowing both people to remain in good standing with each other.

This is a true story about a man showing kindness when kindness was not obligatory.

A polite correction would also have been kind. It may even have been the more common kindness. My own response in the same situation would probably have been polite, direct, and entirely reasonable. But Nick showed me another level.

His kindness did not merely soften a correction. It recognized that no correction was needed. He absorbed a small inconvenience without turning it into an injury, and he allowed another person to remain whole in the process.

That kind of discernment was previously unknown to me.

Now that I have seen it, I know it exists.

And once a form of kindness becomes visible, it becomes something we can choose.

This park is where she felt comfortable to be herself. She could relax and let her hair down in this park.

After nearly a year of going to this park every day, something happened one day. She was having her lunch like usual, and she was enjoying the view, nothing out of the ordinary. Just moments after she let her hair down, a tiger jumped from behind the wall and came after her. She jumped to her feet and ran away in terror.

This incident scared her, and she wondered what happened. She wondered where this tiger came from. She didn’t know that the tiger lived behind that wall. The tiger was there every day. The tiger came out that day for the first time for her to see. The tiger had been out previously, while she wasn’t there.

She thought about not going the next day. She believed the tiger was a one time thing. That is her favorite spot. The next time she went, she was very cautious. Thank goodness, no tiger. The next few times she went, there was no tiger. The months went by, and she had all but forgotten about the tiger. Until one day, the same thing happened, and she ran away from the tiger again.

Now this happened twice, she began to question whether she wanted to go back to this park. The park was now causing her stress just thinking about it and whether the tiger will show up or not. With much dismay and sadness, she started to look for a new park. She knew the park could be anywhere, and there may be something without a tiger where she can feel safe.

She looked at a couple other parks, and she found one that was beautiful. She had to move past comparing the new park with the old favorite. They were different places for sure, and there were things she would say that she loved about the old one that the new one doesn’t have. The new one has a couple things she likes that the old one didn’t have. Once she was able to appreciate the beauty without comparison, she was able to fully appreciate the here and now.

Before she settled on that new park, she did go back to the old favorite. She loved it so much that she wanted to give another try, just appreciate the beauty again. The last time she went, she was stressed even thinking about being there. She was stressed the whole time, and then the tiger jumped out again. She was so scared and upset with herself for even thinking it would work. She wanted to believe and be in that place again. That’s why she went back. It was so nice for so long. The tiger isn’t there every time. But she finally accepted that she would rather be safe than have to worry about the tiger.

A year or so went by, and Natalie had fallen in love with the new park. She didn’t really think about the old park much. She didn’t think about it until one day she happened to be driving by. On that day, the good memories came flooding back, she remembered the good times, and she laughed about the tiger. She wouldn’t be as scared today. When she reached the park, she could see her favorite spot. She stopped the car. There was no other traffic at that moment so she could look and remember. She noticed a major change to her favorite spot. The wall was removed. The place where the tiger lived no longer existed. The whole park was renovated, and her old favorite was the same but somehow completely different and better.

Nathan was a man of habit. He found himself often eating the same food and wearing the same clothes. He tries to fill his time with the things that are more meaningful. Lately that has meant cooking himself breakfast, meditating, reading, journaling, and talking with other people. Helping some folks with their stuff while reaching out to others for help with his stuff. Nathan has a small group, mostly family, but he keeps them close. Although not geographically close, regular phone calls with grandma are necessary.

The plane began to roll back after about twenty minutes of Nathan being seated. He felt like it was pretty quick in relative terms. He was one of the last people to board. He often wondered if getting on the plane first or last is better. Since he’s gotten a little more flying experience under his belt, he ran an experiment over the years. He would wait in some instances until last call, and there would be no line. This seemed to work. There were a couple instances where there was no longer space for his luggage in the overhead bin. It had to be checked. Boarding first is slightly less stressful for him, but it requires being early. Nathan was rarely on time. It became a battle of the stresses in some instances. Stress to be early to board first, or stress because of the middle to last boarding process with maybe no space for bags.

It wasn’t until this flight that Nathan had a realization. While the plane rolled backwards, he asked himself, what if I just let life come and not stress either way? He thought this over for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of each approach. He went back and forth over the merits of putting pressure to be quicker, the efficiency, the ability to relax later. And that’s when it clicked in his mind. He was hit with a flash of insight and a flood of memories to support this new hypothesis. The ability to relax later, he repeated in his mind. This was the downfall of it all. The question continuing without answer is why not relax now. He tried to think of an answer, only to realize he was trying to defend his current lifestyle because, for him, the relaxation always came later. He chuckles audibly, laughing at his own duality, noticing the glance from the person sitting next to him. It is a full flight after all. The plane ride will be long. Nathan hopes to find joy in these once-in-a-lifetime moments. He thinks that maybe he can relax now because he is right where he is supposed to be.

Hana cam to this island a couple years ago. She’s really a lovely personality and a lot of fun to be around. She loves to dance randomly and to go out dancing. The girl has a free spirit, and she has a bubbly charm that presents like mature innocence. Her belief in herself was something she had worked on for years.

Hana moved to this island after a nasty breakup. Her ex-boyfriend was verbally abusive, and he made her feel like she wasn’t pretty or enough. He really did a number on her self esteem. Hana cut all contact with him because he was constantly putting her down and trying to bring her back into his hectic life. She opted for a simple life with a job and some friends. This all went well for a couple months. Until her ex showed up at her new job. He made a big scene, yelled and screamed at her and the other staff. he scared the staff, the customers, and her with this look of rage he could get. He left without incident on that day, but she knew something had to change.

Hana often thought back on those days. She thought about the person she used to be. While she sat at home on the island journaling, she replayed that day in her head. She replayed a few days in her head. The move to this island and the decision to stay are not as simple as she ran away from an unsafe situation. It may make for an easy story to tell, but life is rarely that simple, and her mind continued down this road of thinking. What was she doing, what was the goal when she started? These are what she was asking. It had been a couple years. She reminded herself that she didn’t need all of the answers today. She took a moment to breathe. Ahhhh as she released an audible, relaxing sigh.

Hana had a yoga class to teach in the next hour. There wasn’t any rush because the studio was just a couple minutes walk away. She wanted to prepare for this class though, as she always did. Hana has a ritual of going through the class once quickly on the mat, remembering her cues, going over the intention, and feeling through the class. She has found this approach to deepen her own experience and makes her better able to teach. The preparation is her super power, and that’s what she tells herself. Nobody else knows how much work she actually put in, but she knows. She can be proud of herself and carry her head high. That’s a skill Hana picked up along the way. She didn’t start out so confident.

Hana had a flash in her mind that gave her a little excitement and panic. She remembered that Nathan would be in her class that afternoon. They were speaking that morning about the cafe idea. She secretly wondered if she even wanted to do that, but it sounded like a great plan. She figured she could go along with it and back out of involvement if she doesn’t like it. As she thought through it, she was just introducing people. Running the cafe was Nathan’s dream, she thought. She was just helping someone along their journey.

Goodbye turns into see you later, never turns into let’s give it a try, tomorrow turns into yesterday.

Nathan decided for himself this journey would be a silly one. He thought about his nevers and alwayses. He considered all the things he’d done or said to hurt people, slightly comforted by a follow-up thought about all the people he helped. Nathan takes a deep breath in through his nose, with a final sip at the top, holding it for a couple seconds before slowly releasing the breath from his mouth. He repeats this process three times. Each time feels remarkably similar, or exactly the same, as the mini-brownouts he tried to describe once. Maybe this is the feeling when people say breathing exercises feel like drugs.

Nathan’s mind is quieted from the chatter of pondering about the negatives. The breathing exercise is something he picked up from a couple different sources. All the people describing this same method of breathing, all of them with different science or spiritual reasons. That was enough for Nathan to actually give it a try. He had a reluctance to the types of holistic ideas that he once criticized. His preconceived notions and judgments kept him from giving any credit to these types of healing practices.

Nathan spends his days with much time to sit, think, and meditate. He has taken his yoga practice almost too seriously over the past months. Certainly that’s just an overcorrection from Nathan’s trauma. He hasn’t really given it much thought since it all happened. Nathan kind of just got quiet and went to work. He didn’t write long letters. He didn’t cry endlessly. He didn’t sit around the house. He just accepted the fact and kept going with life. It was a remarkable feat. If we asked Nathan how he did it, he might give us a different answer.

His answer might provide a glimpse into the private world where his writing wasn’t revealed, he imagined a million different times each way he could have done something to change what happened, he agonized over every detail, every word, and grieved every lost possible future. This grief didn’t show on the outside. He quietly got the work done. He made the plan. Nathan didn’t announce this plan to the world. He told a few close people about his plan to travel, but there was no social media post. It was not public knowledge. His journey was his to experience. Nathan believed that he could share things that happened, after the fact. No updates about what will happen (unless it’s a booking he thought).

He wasn’t feeling very silly yet. And it became time for a little juggle dance session. A silly dance mixed with a decent juggle, perfect recipe for a smile. That’s just what Nathan needs before this flight. A week away is sounding pretty good about now, and starting with a silly smile is the right way to start.

Nathan doesn’t know yet that this one week side-quest will turn into the main quest. He doesn’t know how juggling and smiling is the first step to his new life. The next steps were unimaginable to him at the time. He was trying to write the end, but it’s never the end. He was only writing the beginning.

The four months wasn’t the plan either. It was from a week to a month after four days. The week didn’t feel long enough. Nathan had to change his voicemail greeting, settle in, and look into different visa options at the end of that month. At the end of that month, he decided he would do his teacher training the following month. He got his yoga teacher certification, then he kept up his daily yoga practice at a local studio. He starting teaching some yoga, but there’s not much money in it at the beginning.

Nathan has now been here for four months, and the cafe idea is now what he’s thinking about. While he sits and stares at the page, the words that other thing stand out to him, and his mind goes to the past. He is transported to the other side of the world, memories of another life, feeling like a lifetime ago. He had a partner, and after making serious commitments, she left. He was left to pick up the pieces of what they’d started. It feels like a miracle in hindsight they didn’t have children, but there was good long period where that felt like a missed opportunity to stay connected. The business, another way to stay connected. A friendship, just another way to stay connected. Nathan realizes that hindsight brings the clarity and presence he wished was present in those moments where he needed it. His realization has come in many forms, and today’s doesn’t bring tears like it did last year.

The memories are stuck with him, but today, instead of torturing himself for mistakes, he reminds himself of the lessons learned. Nathan is quick to speak kind words to himself, you’re were doing your best, good job learning those lessons and getting through that, I’m proud of the progress you’ve made, no stress, no rush, just keep going from here.

Nathan learned through a lot of work how the past can be a tool to shape the future, and the future can be a tool to shape the present. He can’t claim that he understands much of this, but he ponders while sitting and staring at the rest of that page. He writes, I found myself at a crossroads again. The world has asked me to trust someone. I wonder if I am able to trust myself this time. I wonder how I can trust myself. I wonder how this other person will make things better. I wonder how much better life is going to be now. Whoa now, let’s not get so grandiose with life being better. It’s an exciting new plan, and the work sounds like fun today. How will we handle it when the work is not fun anymore? How will we handle our friendship if we stop having fun? Lots of questions, and all I know is that it will all work out because we just keep moving forward and having fun along the way.

As he looked up from the page, he noticed, in what felt like the first time again, the aliveness of the world around him. The people were going somewhere, all seemingly in a hurry. Bicycles, motorbikes, scooters, and cars were hustling through the streets, and no shortage of people walking either. It was as if the streets had their own life, and the people were only a part of how these streets experienced their days. Each individual unique, each moment unique. Nathan let his mind wander for a moment on these thoughts. He looked in the busy street and got lost in the seductive dance of the traffic patterns. He was snapped out of this trance when the waiter came by to ask if he needed anything.

Nathan asked for one more coffee and to pay the bill. He likes to pay the bill and get a final drink so that he’s not rushed to leave, and he can leave without notice when the time comes. It is typical for Nathan to pay the bill long before he is ready to leave. The prepayment gives him a perceived freedom. Probably some childhood traumas contributing, but today isn’t the day for healing the inner child.

The waiter came back with the coffee and the check. Nathan had cash, so he paid and tipped the young man bringing the coffee. Now, he can add sugar to his coffee and sit for another minute to drink it.

Nathan added the single packet of sugar to the coffee. There’s a system, one cup means one sugar, and that is adjusted accordingly. Although a double espresso still only receives one sugar. He made this system up years ago, and it serves his shorthand well, even if he gets strange looks when asking for one sugar, white sugar if possible. If he had more money, Nathan might be described as eccentric. Unfortunately, he’s kinda broke so people might think he’s a little special instead.

Nathan stirred the coffee and looked around again. The rush of the street faded by now. It was a moment, and that moment will stay with him, but the moment is gone. He sees the other tables lining the street. He’s not the only one sitting outside drinking coffee in this town. Nathan has tried to learn the local language but not with a purpose. He only got through the basics. He has justified this with not wanting to muddy the waters with his other language learning. He thinks it’s reasonable. He’s not looking for ways to be able to do it all. This is enough.

He is looking for ways to deepen some of his yoga practice. These thoughts run through his mind as he sips his coffee. He also gives his imagination the permission to dream about the cafe. It will have outdoor seating, like this one, of course. It will have those kind of folding chairs that we can bring inside when it rains, and when we close. The indoor area will consists of about 10 tables for four people each. Then it will have a few booths. People will come and visit and spend time with each other in the main dining area. We will have an open space in the back. It is outdoor, but it is covered and doesn’t get wet when it rains.

The covered space out back is used for small yoga classes. It fits a teacher plus eight student mats. Six students is a little more comfortable, but the classes are usually packed when Hana or Nathan are teaching. There will also be events held in the space. When there is no class, there will be a concert or a game night, trivia night too. The cafe serves very light food. This is mostly sandwiches, and there are a couple items that work well in the microwave. But mostly, the coffee and the drinks are the main drivers of the business. The cafe turns into a bar in the evenings. The bar is packed with people after their yoga class, locals relaxing after work, and tourists looking for a good vibe. The regulars aren’t just one group.

A honking car brings Nathan back to this moment. He had been sipping the coffee and didn’t realize until now that it was empty. His fantasy had taken the whole of his attention. For now, the coffee was done, and he had places to be. His afternoon yoga session was coming up next. There was no rush though. Nathan had more than an hour to show up at this class. He was ready in his current clothes, and his mat was already there. He set himself up for success, he remembered. That was all part of the plan, and he gave himself a little pat on the back, thinking to himself, Thank you for thinking ahead, Nathan, good job.

Nathan left the coffee shop with a little smile and a spring in his step. After all, he grinned even wider, Hana teaches today’s yoga class.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe(ty third).

May you live a life of ease.

I am remembering the silly dance moment in the kitchen. I am smiling and looking forward to the silly moments to come. It really is fun to be alive and be silly and have confidence that no matter what everything will be okay. I am loved. I have time. I can live any life I choose. I choose this life and this path.

Writing a story from the imagination… Hoping this brings a smile to all those who dream with me…

After several months on this island, he has gotten to know a few people. The trick he always used in a new country was to find a couple local places to become a regular. Once becoming a regular, after about a month, people will start to notice him and open up. He did that same thing here and that’s how he met Hana. Hana is a yoga instructor who has lived on this island for about three years, maybe a little less. She has a bubbly personality and will just talk to everyone. She had the confidence of a much older soul. She knew herself, she knew what she wanted, and what she was talking about. She also knew what she didn’t know and wasn’t afraid to admit not knowing. She made it her business to be nice to everyone she met. This young lady, who presented like a mature woman, has a heart of gold and a rolodex of contacts that shocks the imagination.

Hana was able to help our young Nathan. Nathan showed up on this island with the goal of personal development. Finding himself is too cliche a term for what he was doing. He was creating himself. In objective measure, Nathan was still young, 39 years old. He didn’t feel young anymore. His body ached like a man of thirty years more, and his mind was fractured like that of a wartime veteran. He hadn’t been through war in a traditional sense, not recently at least. But he had been through a different type of war. He had been at war with himself. His mind could not seem to rest, and after trying all the apps and practices and therapists he could find, he decided he needed to live a different life. The quote that rang through Nathan’s head was that to get something he’d never had, he must do something he’d never done.

Nathan had an idea that popped up once before, and it has come back a few times since. The idea was that of a simple life. He thought about how he liked cappuccinos, he liked taking care of his body, he liked meeting new people and having regular people to connect and grow with. He thought about how much he liked to be a regular somewhere. Maybe that’s the name, Regulars Cafe.

Oh man, it could be awesome, he thought to himself and nearly yelled out loud. It can also be something that grows to be bigger than just him. Nathan would have ideas like this, and he would even write them down or get started on something. Then he abandons the idea when something else comes along. This cycle had been plaguing him for a while. He didn’t want to keep moving from one thing to the next. Even if the timeline felt long, 2-5 year increments, the next increment is always just another thing to do. The sticking power through any one of the increments could have yielded results, but he jumped ship because he “changed his mind.” Legitimately, he has changed his mind and realized that he wasn’t willing to do the work necessary to get there. There is space for Nathan to move around. No one is questioning that, except Nathan. Others have said he is living the dream, but he doesn’t know what dream that is. He just wants a simple life with a family. All the glitz and glamor aren’t the real moments of sitting on the couch with the baby. This simple life is fun and silly. It is filled with dancing and laughter. Nathan’s family is a beautiful group of individuals connecting and supporting each other through life.

Nathan had to learn what this meant through a process of trial and error. He didn’t have any role models of what this was like. He was simply trying his best. He recently discovered that fiction novels contain some of the secrets to how people might treat each other, and it can give insight into how people perceive such things. This has been the outside perspective Nathan was looking for, but didn’t know it was hidden in these novels.

Now that Nathan had been reading and doing daily yoga for a few months, his mind and body were clear. He remembered the past experiences, and he remembered his idea of a simple life. What if Regulars Cafe popped up in that empty space in the town center? How do I get this to where I can use it for a cafe and maybe a bit of yoga in the back?

Enter Hana. She had been around the area for a little while. She was calling this home, and she knows everyone. Nathan met Hana a couple months back at a yoga class. He sees her around town several times per week. It just so happens they speak the same language. Nathan has been studying for a few years, and Hana is from there. They recently got to speaking in that language. It became their secret language. It also became a great practice for Nathan to keep up speaking. Through these daily connections, they built a friendship.

That’s why Nathan thought of her first when he thought to open Regulars. The business idea was presented to Hana one afternoon while discussing over a coffee. They were both regulars at this particular cafe, and the staff knew their names and orders. Hana got a cappuccino without dairy though, soy or oat alternative, and Nathan got the dairy version with a little sugar. Nathan drank three or four of them in each sitting. He often debated on learning how to make them at home, but he enjoyed the experience of being there so much that he’d rather spend the extra money. After sipping her coffee, Hana got that smile on her face that crept in when she was thinking about something exciting. She was excited about Regulars Cafe. She loved the name, and she loved the concept. Her mind went into overdrive thinking and listing all the people in town that could help. She knew a builder, she knew the government staff, she knew the neighbors, she knew other cafe owners who would help with supplies, she knew someone that had all the equipment to start a cafe, she knew everyone they needed.

Nathan had saved a little bit of money. Luckily money goes farther on this island. It is a stroke of luck that everything fell into place. It felt almost too easy, but it was 5am wakeups and showing up to get the deliveries and doing the work with the builder, and sweeping the floors in the evenings, it was all that work, that’s what needed to be done with joy. Doing the simple tasks on a daily basis keeps the spirits up for Nathan. The dream was still a dream, but Nathan had traveled the whole path by now. He was 20yrs down the road in his mind. Hana became his wife, they have two kids, boy and girl, they run the cafe, they enjoy every moment of life, and their kids are about to leave the island and go find their place in the world.

They lived a life of joy.

Nathan snaps back to the moment, sipping coffee with Hana. Hana had no idea that he just lived a life with her in his mind. Hana has no idea about what could be. The work to get there is still to be done. Here is the journey, here is what we’ll do along the way, here’s how we will have fun, here’s what I’m doing, do you want to do it with me? That’s Nathan’s general pitch to Hana, on the business idea that is, the kids and family portion can come later. He doesn’t want to scare the girl off on day one. He would want to have the conversation with her about how she might see a future.

The second thread to his thought is not about the life together, but it is about the conversation they will have about their life together. He will listen to how she wants to be loved and cared for. He will listen without defenses or judgment. He will also understand that it is not that he is doing anything wrong. It is just that she prefers it another way. He will listen to what that other way is, and he will do it that way.

Nathan catches himself again, deep in thought, not present. He apologizes to Hana for not listening. His brain runs off in imagination mode sometimes, and he isn’t present when that happens. These daydream moments can be fun, and they must be treated with kindness. His brain works in mysterious ways because he is now laughing about thinking about listening so well while not listening in the moment. That’s a bit of irony that is not lost on Nathan.

Bringing himself back, again, to the conversation with Hana. They start the groundwork on what will become a future they create together.

The future is bright. Everything is possible.