But in truth, I loved it. This book taught me so much, and I am grateful for having read it. The mystery of life is unfolding in these pages. Why, I might ask, and the answer was tucked away in the pages of books. The answer to life’s greatest questions have been answered, and those answers exist in books. It doesn’t have to be so hard, this learning thing. It doesn’t have to be, but the difficulty level is chosen by the player. The ability to humbly read and incorporate the ideas of others who have not lived this life is one thing that can be learned.

That idea needs some work. This book, however, needs no more work. The ideas are complete in their own time. On the anniversary, they share the same kiss. That sounds lovely to me, meeting at the same spot on the anniversary and recreating the first kiss. We could recreate a first kiss moment, and it would be glorious.

I remember where and when. It was at the table all the way to the left when one walks into the cafe. I was sitting against the wall, and she sat facing me. There was a butterfly tingly sensation inside me when she spoke of the universe, and I couldn’t help myself but to lean over the table and kiss her. Now, maybe I should have asked permission to kiss her, but I didn’t, and the moment felt so right. The sparks flew when our lips touched. I was so nervous that I had just messed up, that I was too much too fast. The moment was so right, and her lips felt like home for mine. This felt fated and designed by cosmic forces, the stars aligned as our lips drew near, and the instant of contact felt like everything that had come before led to this moment, as though every moment after would be a continuation of the bliss started with that kiss.

Tom will hopefully be fired. Because it’s a rom-com wannabe book, then it would definitely have the happy ending we are looking for. Another prediction of mine, and we’ll see. I like this book and how it shows a few insights into how Olive feels and thinks. I’m kinda holding back here a little bit because the deeper feelings from this book are tough to discuss in public.

I hope to be more like Adam. I would like to have that kind of impact and cause such feelings to arise in my lady too. I also completely understand grabbing someone against the wall and feeling a rage against them for harming the woman he loves.

That’s all….

that’s pretty cool that it has a little widget. Practicing my Zen today

Trying to hold the noon in place, permanent output, permanent visibility, permanent summer. The original model says that is not strength. That is fighting the turning. Winter is not a malfunction of summer. Rest is not a failure of work. A quiet season of your like is not a broken version of a loud one. You were never supposed to balance your life. You were supposed to time it, to know which season you are in and stop farming against the weather.

The turning includes you. You are not supposed to stay in the light. You are supposed to turn.

Original Thought:

This almost got published as quoted. The idea behind what he’s saying is that finding balance is the wrong goal because life is not in balance, it is in motion, and it goes through seasons. The day and night, winter and summer. From small cycles to large cycles, at any maximum point the reduction begins, the sun sets, and the days get shorter, until one day when they get longer again, always in motion.

The parts standing out the most are winter not being a malfunction of summer, rest is not failure, quiet is not less than loud. These are seasons, periods that pass into the next. Identifying the season and working with it. There is no bad weather, only bad clothes. That speaks to the same principle that we live in the season and work with the season and stop being mad at slowing down for a season.

The old ways just won’t do. The answer that I was told to do it this way only works so long as I remain ignorant, and I cannot reasonably claim ignorance. The actions moving forward are of my own choosing. Thoughts are mine to accept or reject or ignore. I do not have to give credence to something, and I can pretend like it does not exist, because it does not exist outside of my mind.

The realization comes too late that I am the one who observes the thought. Not a mere observer of thought, but the consciousness that experiences this life through this body and mind. The self is organized around the mind and body and external, but this is only partially true. Those things do exist, and they do affect what is separate from the other separate things.

I won’t venture to make such bold claims here. It’s the moment when life becomes one’s own that I can stop living according to what was handed to me. I do as I see fit, but that is not with egomaniacal zeal. It is with patience and presence that decisions are made and situations responded to.

I am always in charge of my own piece. I make my own moves. I can follow the orders or suggestions of another, but it is me that will ultimately be responsible for the outcome. I cannot claim obedience as a defense. I am an individual with a conscious mind to be used for free and discrened thinking.

If a way does not work, I can change. I do not ask the world to change. I change to meet the world.

Two beds doesn’t change a thing when Olive jumps on top of him and kisses him. Yes, he absolutely wants to kiss her and have sex with her. It should be no surprise that she thinks he doesn’t want to when he rejects her. He definitely got that angry side out, and now she could see both sides of him and reconcile them into one, and she liked that side too. That’s refreshing to hear.

And it was also refreshing to hear that Adam wants to focus on the work and not on the person, the work gets better, the process improves, there is nothing wrong with the person, but there may be something wrong with the work. I can support this type of idea. It’s criticism, but Adam is good not to criticize much with Olive (take notes gentlemen).

She has her aweson thing going, and it really is good. Not just saying that, and it’s not because of a relationship. It’s because it’s genuine and game recognize game, playa. I see you. That’s the feeling the exudes when someone who has been there done that gives a head nod and acknowledgment. Or something like that. For Olive, it was the super-science Dr. Carlson.

Okay, the whole thing feels a bit, umm… sexy. Not sure how to say that, but I’m also a little glad I didn’t get the sex scene in this one, just a kiss, some drama, and a bulge. Then his no did not mean no to her. She came with the questions. Why? Brilliant question actually. Probably need to learn tips from Olive about how to convince people to have sex that are trying not to for some reason not related to wanting to right now. She totally seduced him. He was minding his own business, and she had to go looking all sexy wearing the t-shirt in a sexy way and not wearing pants and being extra cute. He was powerless against her charm. He also really wanted to do this but was scared she was going to hurt him and it would turn into some thing. He had his own fears going on, and she didn’t share those fears.

Interesing….

No movies where horses die is a good rule, but it’s also a very particular request. It appeared that Adam was actually googling for movies to know if that was a plot point. I don’t remember seeing any horses die in recent films. Sure, there are plenty of movies where a horse dies, but not so much lately. There was the movie where the horse was sleeping and they thought he was dead. I don’t think that counts because the horse did not die. Giving away minor plot points, but I’m sure Olive would appreciate the heads up. And Adam would extend a thanks for having done the homework for him on this particular movie.

Looks like the drama found us after quite a few pages of building this relationship. Olive must tell Adam. She must speak up about this abusive behavior.

We will have to find out what she does. I am all out of predictions now. There are several ways this could go, but I am hoping that she tells Adam and that he takes her seriously, believes her.

The emotions run wild to think of helping Olive. I wish there was something I could do for her. I feel like a witness to the abusive behavior she just endured. She stayed strong and held her own. We may be able to say do this or do that, but we must give credit to what she did do because she didn’t give in to this guy.

She didn’t tell him immediately, but the way Adam handled that situation was admirable, and it filled my eyes to see the kindness and compassion he showed. It wasn’t about they they said, it was about what she thought. It was about her feelings and the impact it had on her. It was that their words reinforced the insecurities she already had of herself. She is a brilliant scientist, and she will get even better. Bwaaa!!

It’s so nice to see her taken care of. People might think he wants to spend time with his girlfriend. That’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard.

All that said, I was still wrong. There are two double beds in this room. I have thoughts that are defensive, why I would think such a thing, how his words led me to question him, and how questioning him probably doesn’t speak well of what he knows. The lesson here is to watch my wording so it doesn’t end up being a questioning of the person’s abilities kinda thing.

The words I am understanding don’t necessarily mean the thing, and I need more to agree. But why couldn’t I just believe Adam? He spoke with confidence, and I believed the doubt of Olive instead. I even took her side and explained why her side was the better side based on the words being said.

Oh man, learning more about people and myself through books. Growth is weird….

Also, if I get into this questioning mode, it could be recognized by me or gently pointed out by another person, and I can look at it and decide that’s not how I meant it. I was just on the get answers mode. I don’t need to check the other person or do independent research to prove them wrong. I trust them and what they tell me. How do I get that across while also getting across the thoughts and questions that arise due to the understanding I currently have based on the description given. Complicated stuff right there. Let it go. It doesn’t matter. Smile and be happy for the time together, no matter the number of beds.

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