Alright, folks... It's easy to sit and write. Ya know why? It's because we don't even have to think more than usual to type. I just do the regular amount of thinking, and boom! Words appear.

I sit to write today with a goal in mind. I have learned a lot recently. It seems that there comes a time. I could have made this an easy decision. I complicate shit because the entire time I acted like I wasn't happy. Now I'm saying that I was happy. That's confusing. Fuck, I'm confused too.

I had a thought of how events might unfold in a grand scheme type of way. The grand idea had children and family and fun and smiles. Why do I pretend like my life is so hard? Why am I so mad at things? Is it really that bad? Can I not just be grateful? In editing mode, context is enriched. Grateful isn't the main problem here. It's the fighting against the problem instead of tackling the problem. I have an issue with getting mad about a problem.

Yes, indeed, grateful, but we can't accept second rate service... and just now, re-reading that, I realize I don't agree with the statement. I don't like it, but I can accept it as an inevitable accident of life. It does not require a show. If there are issues that I want to see changed, I can work to implement change, but I don't need to take any effort to make someone feel bad for mistakes or incompetence. Some people don't like laughing at such things, and that's okay. Their choice and their tastes, and in such matters they are infallible.

Let's talk about parents for a minute. They mean the best. And they can confuse. I might be told one day that it's up to me to take care of my wife no matter what her thoughts are 100% valid and support her, which is what I now see I was doing horribly wrong, then when I mention to that person that their words had unintended consequences, that person becomes defensive. Too much fun. I can step to the side and look at my role.

I was afraid to be honest previously. Not like I was being any kind of dishonest, to be clear. No, no, no. This is the kind of honesty where we open up about fears and thoughts about things such as current financial position or larger timeline decisions. I imagine a world where we look at finances together. Ooh! That could be a fun one. What if we went through our daily expenditures at the end of the day. If we meet our spending goals, we get a prize (maybe a savings prize, but maybe also a spending prize hehe).

Also need date night, and dance night, and movie night. Other than time together, we've got a lot of work to do. And we have other things that we individually have going on, together have going on, life man. This shit is just coming at me all the time. We need to be there for each other through these difficult times.

There's a comic strip that flashed through my mind. Let me use this interwebs and find you a copy, please hold...

Credit: Joel W. Pett

Alright, we're back after a six-month intensive search for this image. I have remembered this comic for several years, and I will for several more. What if I do it all for nothing? Make myself a better person and there's nothing there??

There are manipulative tactics not being deployed, and one is the takeaway. I saw it used bery well by a golf club salesman one time. "Ooh, excuse me sir, that options only available to... Not sure if you're ready..." The person is obviously ready. It's a technique I've recently heard described as making the customer interview to be a customer. Does the customer qualify?? This gives an allure of premium and can create a desire.

Oh shit, distracted and need to remember Karaoke. That's a weekly occurrence that I just learned about. There are som any cool activities in the world. Why am I cooped up? Self imposed cooping. Birds weren't meant to live in cages. Go find something to do, there's a learning experience of its own.